I gave birth to a baby girl after an easy delivery.
When I went into labour I noticed Avinash looking tense. He is not actually a hard-hearted man, I thought to myself. He avoided coming near me. He would just look at me from a distance and send either my mother or his mother to me. He looked at the baby in the cradle and smiled to himself. “Pick her up” I said.
“No, I am scared…” he said touching her fingers softly. I could not keep myself from laughing.
“How can you say you are scared? Tomorrow onwards you have to carry her on your shoulders and play with her,” I said.
“Okay, but only when she grows up!” On the third day I returned home from the hospital. Avinash went back to office the second day itself.
“Can’t you apply for leave for a week?” I asked hopefully.
“Impossible! I have so much work to do. Over and above that, we have a daughter now. We must work harder” he said anxiously.
That irritated me. “Please don’t say that! I don’t like it. There is no difference between a boy and a girl, expense-wise.”
Amma had gone back after the baby entered her third month. After that Attayya stayed with me for a month.
Avinash was ready to change his company. His salary would now be one lakh twenty-five thousand rupees. I too got a job. They offered me also a job with twenty five thousand, looking at my confidence in replying to their queries in the interview. I cleared the software exams well. “You got a job without my recommendation? Very good! You turned out to be quite intelligent” Avinash said in surprise.
We both started going to the same office. There was a baby care centre within the office complex, making it all very convenient. I had not wanted to work till the baby turned one year old. But Avinash forced me to change my mind.
Every two hours it was mandatory to go and feed the baby. It was so uncomfortable working amongst so many, to hide my discomfort, I asked the doctor for tablets so that I need not feed her. He scolded me and advised me to use cotton. Everything was new- motherhood, job and colleagues, and in every way it was very uncomfortable. But I did not neglect my job. In the interview I told them that I would work only for eight hours in a day from nine to five. “If you had not given that time restriction you would have got more money, at least fifteen thousand more.” Avinash said in dissatisfaction. As it is, I felt it was unfair to leave the baby for such a long time. Attayya offered to take care of her. But I thought, in this way the baby will be closer to me and she would not have to depend on market milk.
Gradually, I got used to my routine. I used to get up early in the morning get the baby ready, give all the necessary instructions to the cook and get the lunch boxes ready, and then get ready to go to office. I used to have my breakfast and go to the office in the car. Avinash used to leave with me on most days or occasionally leave early. He would come back after nine every day. If he was not tired by then he would play with the baby or sit in front of the computer. If everything went smoothly with his project he would display a very arrogant attitude, otherwise he would bring earth and sky together with his tension. I never saw him taking things in a balanced manner. High ambitions and high expectations from life are not good, I told him so many times. He never listened and never used to relax for a single day. All the activities to instil relaxation appeared like a waste of time to him. He also got a small paunch due to lack of exercise. If I teased him he used to laugh it off if in good mood, or shut me up angrily. During the baby’s naming ceremony he took the initiative and named her Keerthi, he hopes that her ‘fame’ would spread all over the globe. “Are you so obsessed with fame?” He did not talk to me for one whole day because I asked that question. I used to call her chinni, munni, bujji, whatever appealed to me at that moment. Since both us were earning well we were financially quite well off. We had earned a good name not just in our apartment complex but in our colony too. We used to get invitations for meetings and cultural programmes. I used to attend the interesting ones, though Avinash never looked at them. For him they were all a waste of time. “Instead of wasting time on these useless programmes, could you not spend one more hour in the office” he would ask me, as if the time he spends there was not enough. I stuck to my stand. I understood one thing clearly right from the beginning, Avinash and I are two different people. We won’t mix like milk and water but they won’t completely break too.
My hope springs mainly from this. Avinash cannot live like this for long. Not only he, any one has to change, I must be patient and wait for that day. Now I spend time with the baby. Earlier with just Avinash, life was so dull; we never had any of the things that are in order for newly-weds. When we got married, we had no sweet nothings. He never spent time with me in love or affection. He used to do everything as a matter of duty. Sometimes he used come to me at eleven in the night. When I refused to entertain him in anger, he would meekly go away to sleep. I did not know whether to laugh or cry. Avinash is a total stranger to the normal romantic nothings or even petty fights that are so common between couples. They were never a part of his dictionary. I never expressed my dissatisfaction. But then in another corner of my heart I also loved him deeply. There was a bond between us. Not only that I could clearly see his love for me the day the baby was born. But it would not come out at all times. If he could recognize what he wanted he would surely change. I was sure he was not a cruel person. That was my hope.
That day, someone came from our colony to collect donation. Avinash was at home. He told me to talk to them and send them off. I begged him, it is not correct. He came into the hall, every one stood up in respect. His happiness brightened his face. He offered them all seats. Our maid served them all drinks.
“Tell me,” he said with dignity.
“We came to collect colony development fund,” they said.
“Okay, what will you develop?”
“We will improve the parks and roads, plant trees and other social help activities…” they continued
“But this is the job of the government, no?”
They looked at each other. “Of course, you know it all, sir!” He did not say anything. One of them said again, “two hundred, three, five people are giving whatever they can!” they showed him the receipt book.
“Ramya, bring my cheque book” their faces brightened at that. He put the amount, signed it, and gave it to them- Rs.15000.
“Thank you, sir, if everyone thinks of society like you this country will surely improve. Thank you for your cooperation.” As they praised him he felt satisfied and smile smugly. I was astonished at his new generosity. I would not have given that big an amount. While talking to them he casually asked “Every year you give awards to people who have contributed to the colony’s development. Who will get that award this year?” I suddenly grew suspicious.
“Every year we have obligations like money or politics. But this time we are firm on giving this award to Satyam master. He has been here right since his childhood. We got government sanction for all the parks because of his efforts. Even now he plants trees wherever he finds vacant space. He is always on the forefront of everything that is related to the colony, good or bad.” I could see a trace of disappointment creeping into Avinash’s face now. He listened to them quietly. They praised him again for some time before going.
After one week or so one elderly gentleman amongst them came to our house in the evening enquiring for him. I told him he would not come home till nine in the night. He stood there as if in a dilemma. “Is there anything I can do? Please tell me. I will give him the message.” I asked.
“The cheque he gave bounced. They say there is no money in his account” he said awkwardly. I was surprised as there is always a minimum balance of fifty thousand in Avinash’s account. “There must be some mistake. Did you talk to the bank?”
“Yes, they told us he withdrew the entire amount six days back. They returned the cheque saying there is no money in his account.”
I was confused. I had some vague thought, but ashamed to think in that direction. In the night I told him about the bounced cheque. He just said “Is it?” and kept quiet.
“What is this? It is a great insult to us if a cheque bounces. You should have ensured that there is some money before giving them the cheque.”I admonished. “What is the great loss now?” he asked in an indifferent tone.
“Loss? Isn’t loss of face in the colony a loss to your reputation?” I asked
“No, I gave them a cheque for Rs. 15, 000 when they asked for just one thousand. But they did not show enough respect for that.” “What does it mean?” I did not understand.
“Many people find pleasure in planting and growing trees and going round the government offices for something or the other. If they can give awards for that, I gave them my hard-earned money. Don’t I deserve an award for that?”
Now I understood his inner thoughts. “Have you donated money for this?” I asked him suppressing my revulsion.
“You can think whatever you like!”
“Your thinking is wrong, Avinash!” I tried to tell him calmly.
“You have no business to be judgmental. I know what I am. I am not at a stage where I have to be told by you what is right and wrong.” He said arrogantly.
“So did you empty your account?”
“Yes.”
“Deliberately?”
“Yes!” he said triumphantly.
“What should I tell them tomorrow if they come and ask me?”
“Say something!”
“Something means what?” I shouted in irritation.
“Whatever comes to your mind!” It was all some kind of a joke for him. The gentleman came the next day early in the morning. I was so ashamed to go out and meet him. I told Avinash to go. He sat in front of the computer and refused to go. He told me to tell him that he was not at home. I had to go.
As he looked at me with the question in his eyes I told him “He is still sleeping!” I felt bad for telling this lie.
“It is okay. I have some work today. I will come tomorrow.” He had gone and for the time being the crisis was over.
He came for three days in a row. I gave him excuse after excuse with a bowed head unable to look into his eyes. Then he must have understood, as he stopped coming. Afterwards people used to look at me with sympathy whenever I met them. I could imagine how they would look at Avinash. He earned a lot of disrespect in an effort to gain a reputation and respect.
He had no understanding of social relationships. The things he did were actually aimed at earning fame or good name. He just refused to believe that he had a responsibility towards the society he lives in. He failed not only in maintaining family relationships but in acquiring social skills too. This was not at all good for him. Whenever I tried to make him sit and understand these things, his ego would assert itself. He was, after all an IIT product earning lakhs and that there was no need for anyone to give him any lessons in social behaviour. He need not listen if someone tells him.
We stopped getting invitations for any functions that the colony organized. I was also unable to participate as freely as before. My life was thus chained and I was feeling suffocated.
But my daughter was like spring that came into my life everyday.. I used to find happiness in all her activities. She used to sleep by the time Avinash came home.
“Why does she sleep so much?” He used to wonder at his two-year old daughter. “We must teach her to work hard right from the beginning. She is already two and doesn’t know her alphabet. Many children recite rhymes at this age. You are not teaching her anything,” he started complaining. All I could do was stare at him.
By the time my daughter turned three I settled to a routine in my life and my job. The eight hours I was in the office I would concentrate on my work with full focus. Other times whatever the pressure; I would never think of my office work at home. For me both office and home are equal commitments. I never thought I should sacrifice one for the other. I used to utilize all the leave I was entitled to, as I didn’t believe in encashing my leave. In the same way, it was not in my nature to put myself through undue pressure just to please the management. I used to make adjustments according to my needs. Avinash was not like me. He would never apply for leave. He would willingly spend more time at office. In addition, he would bring office work home and not take enough rest at home. That would impact his work the next day in the office.
Of late he had started complaining of weakness and frequent headaches. He never liked other people giving him advice. It wasn’t just me, even his colleagues used to be afraid of giving him suggestions. They were constantly apprehensive of his moods and would not know at what point of time he would react and shout at them.
He treated his subordinates with great contempt. They had no knowledge and compared to him, they were simply nonentities. Generally, the project leader should win the trust of the subordinates and try to get work done with his efficient management of intrapersonal relationships. But Avinash was of a different temperament. He believed they had no professional value and should simply obey his orders. At the same time, he would expect superiors to respect him as they were dependent on his intelligence.
Though his style of functioning was always autocratic, it was his intelligence which bailed him out most of the time. He was proficient in his subject. Moreover, he would keep himself up to date on new software, hardware and latest developments in his field by downloading the information from the internet. His knowledge of the subject and his unending curiosity to know every new development were the two great assets in his work.
But his other drawbacks used to completely overshadow his positive qualities. I don’t know if it was a good day or a bad day for me when I too got my promotion as project manager along with Avinash. His salary reached the stagnation point of one lakh ten thousand and mine was also raised to the same level.
We work in different departments. Along with the rumours of my promotion, word also spread that he would be downgraded and sent to another department. With all his intelligence, lately Avinash was unable to achieve the set goals. He was unable to complete some projects and one got rejected for technical reasons. The Company would not bear this kind of loss. So he was demoted. ‘Now how could she accept the promotion given to her in such a situation?’
When he heard of this, Avinash applied for leave and stayed at home one day. It was a big blow to him, more than his demotion my promotion hurt him. “For people who work eight hours promotions and for people who break their back day and night demotions!” he taunted me. I kept quiet as I knew his demotion upset him. He started making moves to change to another company. But with a bad record it was not so easy.
The person who earned crores for his company was now suffering all these setbacks simply because of lack of career planning on his part. With all those humiliations he did not know whether to stay or leave that company. That is not all! Now his attitude to me also started changing.
At one time he encouraged me in every activity whether it was for money or for my career. Now for everything he discouraged me. He started finding fault with everything I did, passing taunting remarks, and interfering in my office work. I just did not know how to deal with this unbearable situation at every step of the way. I did know how to bring him back to a normal mindset. He even stopped paying attention to office work. Instead of improving his image in the office he started doing everything that would further ruin it. He was actually harming his career irrevocably. He stopped coming home after office. He started going to pubs, became addictive to drinking and started coming home at 1:30 in the night. First I found it difficult to accept that he had got addicted to drinking. I also came to know that he was spending most of his time dancing with girls in the pubs. All my pity and sympathy have to repulsion. I tried talking to him. When it didn’t deter him I told attayya. She consoled me saying that it was the natural life style of software professionals. Obviously, she would support him. If she didn’t how would they repay the loans they had taken? I asked her, “Am I not a software professional?” She did not know what to say.
During these past five years my parents have not come even five times to Hyderabad. As I am their only daughter they would have liked to see me more often. I used to feel miserable whenever I heard my father’s soft voice on the phone. My mother was bolder and tried to console my father. I started getting news about his deteriorating health. Avinash would not permit me to go…on one pretext or the other. After all who is he… to stop me… just because he was my husband how could he assume the right to stop me from visiting my father? At last, after a big fight, I went once. For a month after my return he gave me literal hell by not talking to me, by not playing with Keerthi, going to pubs every night, and spending all his earnings on his addictions. My mother-in-law started taking money from me to pay the monthly instalments on loans.
Once Kirthi had fever. I did not send her to school. I decided to call attayya for one day as I had some urgent work at office. He said no. I requested him to stay at home, that too he refused. Keerthi was having hundred two degrees fever. I could not avoid work unless I was sick… He knew my problem. But he was trying to harass me like a sadist. I asked him what was I supposed to do. “‘Totally up to you’,” he said nonchalantly. I said I can call attayya as she was free. He said “She is not your servant to come whenever you call her!”
“What? If she looks after her granddaughter for one day would she become a servant?”
“Think whatever you like. I am going to the office. It is not proper to call my mother!” he left for the office threatening me. My helplessness brought tears to my eyes. My colleagues started calling me to find out if I had started for the office. Keerthi was still running a high temperature. I made up my mind. I took the car out and took her to the hospital. Our family doctor checked and prescribed some medicines. I requested her to admit her as an in-patient and allot a room.
“Why Ramya? It is an ordinary fever. Keep her at home for two days and she would be fine.”
“No doctor, please allot a room for her and keep two nurses to look after her. I will pay whatever you ask.”
I requested her desperately. I think she understood my problem. She said, “Cool down, Ramya! You seem to have some work tension. I will take her to my house and look after her. Don’t worry about your daughter. Go and focus on your job.” I folded my hands with tearful eyes. As soon as I entered my office, Avinash looked up in surprise. He called up somewhere and replaced the phone. I knew where he had called. He was about to come to me. I entered my office and closed the door indicating that I should not be disturbed. I knew he would not dare to disturb me. I did my work calmly, picked up Keerthi in the evening and came home. Her fever had come down. She was playing actively. I switched on my cell phone which I had kept in switch off mode. I thought of calling my parents. The phone rang. It was from Vizag. My maternal uncle was calling, “Ramya, start immediately and come here. Your father is quite sick!” I could hear the cries of people. My tears started blinding me. “What happened to my father?” I asked.
“Heart attack!”
“Where is he?”
“In the hospital! You come as soon as you can.”
“If he is in the hospital what are you doing at home? Who is crying behind you?”
Silence on the other side. “You just come now!” He said controlling his sorrow.
I was in shock and kept calling my father. As I started crying, my daughter got so scared that she went and brought our neighbors. They all came in a hurry. Sobbing I told them the news. They called Avinash and my in-laws. They all came within half an hour. I saw some guilt on Avinash’s face as soon as he saw me. He did not come near me. Attayya consoled me. We took the car and reached Vizag by next morning. I started shivering as soon as I saw my father’s body. My mother maintained a stoic silence when I took her in my arms crying. After the cremation was over I came to know that he had suffered the attack the previous night itself, and even after being in the hospital for twenty four hours he could not be saved.
“Amma, why didn’t you tell me? You thought I am not required for you.” I asked crying.
My uncle got angry with that, “What are you saying, Ramya? After admitting him in the hospital I called you at 11 pm. Your cell was switched off. Then I called Avinash on his cell. He said, ‘Is it so? Okay, okay!’ and disconnected it. I called again next morning. He did not pick up the phone.” He said in an accusing tone.
“Had Avinash known that nanna was not well beforehand?” I was shocked.
“I told him, Ramya and he heard me too. Ask him if you want.” He said clearly.
There was a smile on my mother’s face, like that of milk gone sour.
Then I understood what she must be thinking of us. I lost my father and lost my place in my mother’s heart. Avinash was responsible for all this. I lost so much because of marriage to him and I was waiting for him to change. I couldn’t see my father before his death and lost my place in my mother’s heart. These were the two blows I could not take.
Next day my parents-in-law and Avinash went back to Hyderabad. I stayed back with Keerthi. My mother was not talking to me even when I tried repeatedly. One reason could be the death of father. I knew! But she was under the impression that I had become money-minded. She thought I did not come even when I got the news because of this change in my attitude. It was so hard to bear this heartache.
She had sent word through my uncle that I should go back with my husband. “I believe you are in a responsible position. Go Ramya, you can come on the day of final ceremonies again.” he said hesitantly.
I folded my hands and requested him not to torture me anymore. He felt bad about it.
“I told you because your mother told me to tell you. What else do I want if you want to stay?”
Avinash came for the final ceremony. Everything went off well. I said I would stay for four more days. There were some vague thoughts in my mind. Avinash told me that since the project work was pending I should go back early. I stayed with my mother for four more days. That day my uncle came in the car and got my mother’s luggage packed. “Where are you going, uncle?” I asked in surprise.
“How can your mother stay alone? I will take her with me.”
“Why? she is my responsibility. I will take her with me.” I said firmly, though I knew Avinash well.
“We are born of the same mother. He also has some responsibility towards me.” my mother said clearly indicating her choice.
“But am I not born to you?” I asked stifling my sobs.
“Ramya, now your family is different from me. Your thoughts and ideas are different too. The value you give to me and relationships is different. I cannot adjust there!” she said.
It was as good as slapping me. I could see her broken heart in every word she uttered.
“Okay, I will not go anywhere. I will stay here!” I said firmly, thinking this way I can change her mind
“Good! You can, with full right. He willed the house to you. It is yours now.” amma said.
I was stunned. “I did not mean that, amma!” She refused to listen to whatever I said afterwards. She had gone with him. My life began to look like a vacuum to me. I began to feel stubborn also. Avinash called, “How long are you going to stay there? Are you not planning to come back? You have your office and Keerthi has her school.”
“Avinash, can I ask you something? Will you tell me the truth?”
“What?” a hesitation in his voice
“My uncle called you when my father got his heart attack. You did not tell me. It was a question of life and death for my father. You were just indifferent. You just forgot about human relationships, why?”
He was silent for a while.
“I…my… I forgot to tell you.” He said fumbling for words.
“You forgot as you were enjoying your drinks in the pub at eleven in the night, no?”
“Why are you getting so insistent? The old man had to die anyway. What could we have done in that one day? You are talking as if I have done it deliberately. I just forgot in the pressure of my work. Is that a great crime?” he started shouting at me.
I could not bear to hear his voice even on the phone. I was so disgusted. I could not allow myself to get trapped in the frame of his false values any more. It was beyond me to live with him.
My father died, my mother left me. I left all my friends and my world when I married Avinash. The only bond I still had was with Avinash. Could I bear to live without this one bond?
My daughter came and put her hands around my neck, and I came out of my thoughts.
I must live, there was no option. How could I think there were no bonds for me any more when I had my daughter? I must bring her up. She is my responsibility. I determined myself to face life.
I did not go to Hyderabad, sent in my resignation by email. Avinash came as if by return post. He threatened me… yes, threatened! He did not tell me how difficult it would be for him without me. He tried to scare me that I would have to live a life of misery without him.
I told him I will face all those miseries. He went cursing me all the way. Then my uncle came to tell me that I should not ruin my life by severing ties with my husband. He just warned me but never tried to convince me. Then I understood what all I lost in my effort to build a life with my husband.
I stayed back with my daughter. Only the two of us…and the loneliness…the haunting loneliness. I had been running a race with time so far, now I felt trapped in the claws of the ghost called despair. I was consumed by a disinterest in everything. I just stopped thinking – my career, my daughter’s education, money and running expenses for living in this house – I was not interested in anything. Our maid used to bring the meals and we used to eat whatever she brought. She would clean the house and take care of all other tasks at home. The money I brought from Hyderabad would not last longer now. I was unable to think of my fixed deposits or bank balance or anything else. I could not control my sorrow as I looked at my daughter. She had become very thin for lack of proper care. She did not have school to occupy her and no games as she did not have any friends to play with. She must have been at a loss to understand the sight of a mother who was crying all the time. She would watch TV for sometime or sit outside on the steps and watch the world outside. My heart wept for her.
I had become a victim of depression, I could understand it. I was not interested in anything in life. The despondency that I had controlled for so long took over every aspect of my life and overwhelmed me like a waterfall. I just meekly submitted to this wave of depression. As I thought of my parents my heart twisted in pain. I could not take care of them even though I was their only daughter. I could not even visit them often and make them happy.
My future appeared very bleak to me. I thought I should get rid of these thoughts and started talking to my daughter drawing her to my side. But the evenings would bring back my loneliness and insecurities.
It was the time to switch on the evening lights. The maid had finished work and gone. It was turning dusky and dark outside. Keerthi was sitting outside in the veranda. I thought I should get up and turn on the light, but was unable to do so. Tears started swelling up in my eyes.
I noticed a tall figure in the darkness. “Who is that?” I peered into darkness.
“Amma,” he says he is my babayya[10].”
“Babayya? Which babayya?” I could not recognize the man.
The shadow came into the house, groped for the switch and turned on the light. In that fluorescent white light, I saw Sandeep, Avinash’s brother, my friend, the younger son of my in-laws. Sandeep! He is my daughter’s babayya, no doubt!
I was stunned and kept looking at him. Sandeep who used to be restless, angry, sad and annoyed was now looking at me and approaching me with affection, care and a reassuring smile. He came to me like a grown up and asked me affectionately with a soft smile, “How are you?”
I felt like crying. I wanted to cry resting my head on his shoulders. I wanted to remove all my sorrows with one gesture and transfer them to him so that I could relax.
“Amma! It seems this babayya has come to take us away.!” my daughter told me.
I could not say anything. I felt myself shrinking in front him. In these five years I thought Sandeep must have forgotten me and I too forgot him. But he came to console me in my hour of grief. He had not forgotten me, I thought happily. “Is your anger gone now?” I asked him
He laughed- not the laugh of a young boy! It was a mature man’s laugh! “Why didn’t you call me up?” I asked, complaining.
“Your life is linked with my brother’s. Our life styles were totally different. I did not wish to disturb you.”
“But now?” I asked.
“I always made it a point to know everything that was happening there!”
I looked at him seeking reassurance. He nodded his head. “Let’s go to my grandfather!” he said.
“I will not come anywhere! I can’t shoulder any responsibilities!” I said harshly.
“This is to reduce your burden, vadina!” he told me calmly.
“Leave me alone!” I said to him again as I watched Sandeep packing our clothes.
“If we start tomorrow morning we will reach there by lunch time.” He was talking to my daughter. She started clapping her hands happily.
“I do not know them. I can’t stay there in traditional obedience and politeness. I don’t like it!” I said angrily.
He still did not pay any attention to me at all. He started telling Keerthi things about the village. I threw out all the clothes he had packed in the suitcase and told him I will not go with him.
He looked at me raising his head. I thought he was angry. But he came and sat by my side. He took my hand and led me to a chair with a calm face. “I am there for you vadina! Believe me! I won’t do anything that hurts you. No one will cause any inconvenience to you there. You will stay in your own house. People will talk to you only if you want to talk to others.” He said softly but firmly. In a no-nonsense voice he told me I had no option but to go.
Keerthi brought back all the clothes I threw out and he set the suitcase again. While the two of them were busy talking to each other my loneliness and insecurities seemed to recede.
I told my uncle that I was going with Sandeep. He was indifferent, he just said it was up to me. I slept without any care or worry as Sandeep was in the next room. We woke up at 5 o’clock next morning with the ringing of the alarm and got ready. I gave the keys of the house to an aunty next door and asked her to give them to my mother. We took my car out and drove all the way. Sandeep took the steering. Keerthi sat beside him. I asked him from the rear seat, if he had learnt driving. “Do I look like a young kid to you even now?” he asked.
“Aren’t you?” I said
With the morning breeze caressing my face I remembered that I had come out of the house after a long time. Where is my life taking me now? I was suddenly scared. But the hand that Sandeep extended to help me to stand on my own gave me immense reassurance.
We reached Naidupalem village by two o’clock in the afternoon. I was mesmerized by what I saw. The green fields, the pond and temple at the entrance of the village, the well kept houses, the rice flour patterns adorning the thresholds of the houses, and fruit trees in every house were the scenes that greeted me.
The car stopped in front of a small house. Sandeep got down and said “Welcome home,” affectionately.
I got down with a smile. A small house in a large area and the garden in front of the house are a feast to the eye.
It was a two bedroom house. It was constructed with a mix of traditional and modern amenities. Sandeep gave me the key and said “From now onwards this is your house. We all have to stay with your permission here,” he said faking fear.
“Okay, I will think about it,” I said with assurance.
“Thank You!” he bowed his head like an Air India maharaja. Keerthi was so happy that she already made friends with the girl next door.
“What about her studies” I asked with worry
“Vadina, millions of India’s children go to schools in its villages.” He said and I nodded agreement.
My daughter should get the foundation for her study here. I don’t know how the school would be here? If I start a school here without introducing the ranking system for children, it will be good. The children should be free to study whatever they want with any pressure. As soon as I that thought occurred to me I told Sandeep.
He listened to me with wide open eyes. There was sudden excitement in his face. “See, how you have started thinking, within an hour of stepping into this place! If you stay here you can think radically and implement some good ideas. I will speak to the people in the village today itself.” I took out a paper and a pencil, drew the plans then and there as Sandeep gave suggestions throughout.
I thought of his grandparents in the evening. Guiltily, I enquired about them.
“Don’t feel any such formalities. They are all fine. They will come when you are settled a bit. Don’t worry what others would think about you here. Ours is an ideal village. Nobody bothers to make wrong propaganda about others. Also, you are planning to get good education for the children of the village. They will not allow even an insect to harm you now.” I felt relieved after hearing his words. After dinner that day Sandeep brought a twenty year-old girl Sarojini and told me, since she has no one to take care of her she will stay with me and give me company. She was brought up by his grandparents.
I was not worried when Sandeep left that day. There were so many dreams and plans taking place in my head and I started planning my life anew with new dreams and hopes.
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